Not Seeing Sunshine

I’ve been struggling,

struggling,

blind to rain, dark clouds surfacing

on the mirrors of the sky,

flashes of emotions strike metallic

memories, and I stand still 

only disabled to the water beating 

against my soul,

am I drowning? I mean, AM I,

because I can’t seem to fathom 

the thought of maintaining through

the pressures of Earth’s wrath

upon my life, 

in spite of me praying from my good

days to outweigh the baggage

of bad packed within a suitcase and 

traveling alongside me,

see….

Where is the beauty of radiant Sunshine

when you need it?

The bright days are as golden 

as the element itself and

in itself, I would rather be blinded 

by the motion of positive heat waves 

burning each segment of my mind

than to be consumed in the shadows

of my personal struggles.

Where are you when my eyes

only see glimpses of your rays?

I feel you, but am deceived 

by the watery emotions of instability, uncertainty,

and misery.

WELL….

SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE….

And what has to give is the 

consumption of the bad weather,

because my realization of brighter days

came when I realized that the Sun

is there at all time,

regardless of blockage of the clouds.

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IF IT AIN’T ONE THING, IT’S ANOTHER

     The irony of being a motivational individual, is that you tend to realize that after all that you have done to motivate others to step out of their boundaries, you completely forget about your own personal motivation.  I’m in a bind, and although I’m extremely positive and looking forward to taking account of being blessed with an extra day to live, there are times in which I’m not myself, and whenever I’m in my personal slumps, I see that I communicate well.  Two many situations, not enough people to encourage others to get out of their situations, and assisting others on getting to the next level.

(Not in my left mind today)

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The Power of a Voice

Monday 2:55 am-“If you think that for one bit, you aren’t able to have an affect on a situation or moment in history, then you are obviously an oblivion to life itself, because you have a voice and are afraid to use that weapon for the good, yet rather use silence to destroy.”

   Out of all seriousness, I’ve been in this phase in which I’ve been dreaming of speaking to inner city high school students and elementary school students about how a vision can become a reality.  I’ve also had a vision where I was at Busboys and Poets on 14th and V St. in NW D.C. doing a performance that stunned everyone in the restaurant.  It was a poem about our voice and the instrument that it is.  
   
   Our voice is one of the most powerful instruments that God has ever put in this world (not to get into religion and beliefs).  Truthfully speaking, understanding what a voice can do will allow us as a society to become those success stories that we’ve dreamed about, that we’ve envisioned ourselves to become.  This isn’t going to be a long blog, because I’m going to write a poem not too long from now.  The whole point of this blog, if you are reading this right now, is to let you know that we all have the ultimate weapon of peace, which is our voice.


   Many people may wonder why I say this, but in time, you will hold dearly to what I’m saying to you all.  Your voice is something that cannot be bought or sold.  Your voice is something that cannot be priced and cannot be tainted unless YOU choose for it to be.  We don’t put our voices to use until it’s too late, and at times, we only use our voices when it’s something materialistic that we aim for, such as a new house, a car, someone to love, and so forth.  However on issues that you may feel aren’t worth speaking against, it can possibly be the opportunity in which your voice can change the outcome of an order.  It can change the perspective of minds who never took the time to open up to thoughts and better ideas of making a way out of no way.  Financially, I may not be sound but I can hear sounds through the connection I have with the pen and paper, or the keys on my laptop.  That makes me feel wealthier than any man who’s a net worth of billions.  However, my voice alone isn’t going to have the effect that WE are looking for in this time of dire need.


   Ladies, gentleman, and even children who can read and write.  To those with disabilities that limit them from hearing or speaking, this applies to you as well.  In any way that you can, stand up for whatever you feel is not going right with our society, and let’s use our voice to shoot down the titans of the government, the corporation, and of the corrupted society that we live in.  For those who are afraid to take the chance, you are not alone in this battle, and you shouldn’t feel as if you are.  OPEN YOUR EYES, MIND, EARS, PEN TOPS, PACKET OF PAPER AND USE YOUR ABILITY TO SPEAK OUT!  This is something that is necessary for the survival of love, peace, and tranquility around the world.  It’s time for the ignorance to be demolished, and move vertical together, as we allow our weapons to be unified, our minds synced, and our fighting to continue until we succeed in making not only this country a better place, but our overall planet a much better place.  God bless, and keep faith.

Inspired To Write A New Collection of Poetry

2:03 am-“For the past few days, I’ve been struggling mentally with the fact that the ‘American dream’ being just that- a dream.”

   It has been an incredible mental awakening for myself this past week.  I’ve woke up feeling extremely blessed and thankful.  I’ve not stressed about any negative ideas and occurring situations in my present day.  I’ve actually spent some time with my brother having deep discussions about the things that we can accomplish through faith and the mental structure of hard work.  I’ve been able to redirect a lot of my negative thoughts about self-doubt and self-deterioration, and been able to start making a valiant effort to better these weaknesses.  However, this past Sunday morning around 3:00, I stumbled on a few videos on worldstarhiphop.com that really aroused my anger.
  One video was of a news station talking about the true reason why Ghadafi was killed.  That was a very disturbing thought on how corruption plays a part in our government’s efforts to maintain a sense of imbalance in the overall world society.  The reason behind Ghadafi’s murder was to stop him from making an universal currency for Africa.  The currency was gold coins, which the continent of Africa has an abundance of.  By changing the currency to gold coins, Africa would be able to charge for importing and exporting their resources for only gold coins.  The only other country that has gold to use for currency is Britain, but it still wouldn’t be enough for Western societies to afford.  So the cost of goods and services in Africa, plus the weight of the gold coins would have skyrocketed, causing Africa as an overall nation to be the wealthiest continent on planet Earth.  So, in order to slow down the currency project, Ghadafi had to be killed.  European countries and America cannot afford for that to happen, and so to kill a man who was trying to stand up for the overall African nation and to bring wealth back into the homeland was the proof that multinational corporation corruption and government corruption played a role in this.
 
  Another video that I watched was a video of brother Tavis Smiley and Professor Cornel West on the Bill O’Reilly show.  Bill O’Reilly was stating statistics about the poverty in America (which I will also talk about that soon), and how majority of poverty is caused because of some form of substance abuse.  He was saying that poverty is due to because of those people that are impoverished put themselves in situations such as debts, foreclosures, bankruptcies, etc.  So, brother Tavis Smiley was explaining that his stats were off, and that he needed to understand the politics behind these tax cut-offs for the rich that are leading to shortages in the public aid programs that have been created to help people in need.  O’Reilly’s ignorance and lack of understanding of the overall population of impoverished people showed in this interview because he kept saying that no financial crimes have been committed against the multi-billion dollar and multi-national corporations and banks.  Professor West explained that with the tax cuts and bailouts for these businesses were implemented, the gap between the wealthy and the poor increased dramatically.  He also explained that the new generation of poor people are actually middle class people who’ve lost everything due to job cuts, foreclosure, and tax cuts that were in favor for the rich.  The whole conversation just sparked a flame within me to stop the silence and speak out.  I couldn’t take what I was hearing any longer.
 
   I’ve actually sat down and took the time to watch Tavis Smiley’s “Poverty in America”, which was a 5 part series breaking down different aspects of this epidemic called poverty.  Professor Cornel West joined Tavis in an eleven state, 19 city, poverty tour to actually exchange feelings about poverty, and to grasp ideas from the poor themselves on how to eliminate poverty.  I’ve also watch clips and footage on the “OCCUPY WALL STREET” protest, which is against financial injustice not only here in the United States, but also, around the world.  It gave me the idea to write a new collection of poetry called, “When I Had Nothing, I Had a Voice”.  This poetry will be strictly to help speak for those who feel that they may not be able to speak out against injustice in all facets of life.  This collection, along with “Words Beyond Enemy Lines” will be published as soon as I can get the funds to publish both collections.  This is an opportunity to make change through poetry, and also, through being a young leader in a world that needs many more leaders.  I’m willing to write and make change until change is shown in all communities around the globe.  Martin Luther King’s fight will still be fought until we’ve accomplished peace all over.

Pain Killers pt. 2

  I was wondering exactly what I needed to do to prepare some ideas that can help kill the pain of many of the negative self attributes that we hold against ourselves due to the environments that we surround ourselves by.  As you may have read in the first part of pain killers, I pretty much gave you the reasons for pain killers and the thoughts that may help correct the mental abuse that we inflict on ourselves or what we allow others to inflict on us.  It’s a very difficult topic for many because of the idea that they may be right and we may be wrong about ourselves.  But let’s be honest with ourselves, okay.  No one truly knows you better than you know you, not even good parents and close family.  You know what makes you happy, sad, mad, frustrated, hurt, excited, and so many other different emotions.  You also know things about yourself that you see when you are included in a group.  With that being said, part 2 of pain killers will be solely direct towards the inner soul that we have and our mindset.

4. Where does the fight start when we do not know the direction to go?

The fight is against the habits first and foremost, because in order for you to have belief in what you are able to do, you MUST break the habits that you are currently trapped in.  Many times and in many circumstances we choose to allow our habits to continue to get the best of us, instead of taking away those very habits that hold us from our own potentials.  I have to admit, that I have habits that I want to break, and it’s only due to my mindset that I will break those habits.  Once you overcome those obstacles, the window of positive opportunity is now cracked to give you a chance to use your pain killers to your advantage.


5. When is it best to move away from people, and should we exclude our friends and family from our lives to succeed?

     Now, with that being said, there is a way to move forward without having to exclude somefriends and family out of our lives in order to excel and progress.  There is certain type of love that great friends and certain family members give to us in order to motivate us in the right direction, and that my friends, is called tough love.  However, there is a difference between tough love, and negative vibes that some close loved ones can give you.  For example, if your mother or father (or both) was telling you that practice makes perfect, and every time you didn’t complete that task, they might punish you and/or make you completer it right.  That’s tough love.  On the other hand, if there is a sense of doubt by a parent, cousin, uncle or aunt, sibling, (even a grandparent), a friend, or anyone close to you, then that is a vibe that you would not want to live with in your life, and you can exclude them out of it. You would not want your loved ones being the crabs in the bucket that is weighing you down.

6. How can you go through life without pain or suffering, and in what ways can we prevent them from happening?

In an ideal world, we would like for everything to be peaceful and easygoing in our lives, but the truth of the matter is that we can’t prevent the hardships from happening.  To understand that these are occurrences that are bound to happen throughout our lives, will help us better understand that we can still become positive and powerful with our actions.  Although there will be times in which we may have tough battles to fight, to understand that it is only necessary for us to go through those events, then we are more aware of the negative possibilities.  Being aware of those possibilities will help us better prepare for the difficult times that we will have.  A perfect example of that would be a hurricane warning.  If we understand that there will be a hurricane coming to land, then we better equip ourselves for the encounter of that hurricane.  It’s the same with life.  We don’t know everything in detail, but we do know that anything can happen in our lives at any given moment, such as death, material loss, etc.  So to be prepared to fight through the hardships will strengthen our mentalities to become tougher than they were before.

     With that being said, I’ve concluded part two of the pain killers.  Please understand and try and grasp the knowledge that I tried to give to you all, and pay close attention to what you are worth in the inside.  It starts from within, and then is expressed outward.  Peace, and blessings.

Pain Killers Pt. 1

 I’ve been wondering what it is like to be healthy sometimes.  I’m not talking about the strong bones, lean muscles, strong heart-type healthy.  I’m talking free from insanity, open-minded, full of opportunities that blast from within you type healthy.  I’m an optimistic young man, and I understand what it takes to be where I need to be, but at times, my clustered mind takes a toll.  I’m stuck trying to decide whether or not I’m the right guy for the job.  I doubt my capabilities at times.  I struggle to stand firm with my ideas and end up not following through with my thoughts.  I want to go far, but at times, I’m stumped on how to handle situations that I know will benefit me.  I am very talented, yet I can’t open up the doors to success by completing one thing at a time.  It tends to stress me out a lot, being that I know exactly where to aim, and what to aim for.  In order for me to reach a maximum amount of potential from deep within, I have to better the situations and outshine whenever opportunities are given.  So I’ve taken the time to come up with a list of ideas for myself and for those that may struggle with trying to get over the hump, therefore I title this blog, Pain Killers.
 

   Whenever you think of pain killers, you tend to relate them to chronic pain that is intense on the body.  Pain that is permanent and damaging to the body is usually a reason for taking pain killers.  But, what if it was the mind that was damaged due to pain of negativity?  What if our very thoughts are the reasons for the need of pain killers?  I sat here tonight just thinking of ways to knock the hurdle down.  We do end up having many difficulties in our lives because we become too afraid of stating what we believe and understand as right and wrong for our lives.  I do have faith, and believe that with faith and understanding, God will not put you in a position that are not able to handle.  Now, with that being said I seem to have figured out a better way of handling these thoughts and giving these thoughts a dose of permanent pain killers.

1) If you have been doubted all your life, it makes it much harder to believe in yourself, right?

     That is true for many of us, but, what I’ve come to realize is that the ones that are usually doubting you are the ones who have a problem with themselves and feel the need to release the tensions upon someone else.  I know that in many situations, I’ve been doubted by family and friends.  I used to feel like the “lone soldier” or the “odd ball”, but as I got older, I realized that they weren’t in any position to talk about me.  Many of my family members that I’ve grown up with haven’t accomplished anything, and whenever they would talk down on me, I would feel like I’ve done something wrong.  I wasn’t thinking about how low of a point they’ve put themselves in, and that I wasn’t even as low as them.  So, really look at the people that do doubt you and make you feel like crap, and ask yourself, “What have they done so gloriously that I’m not able to accomplish?”  “How much higher do they want to make themselves feel?”



2) Those who are positively enriching always tend to see things in you that you can’t see with your own eyes.

     Think about the moments in which someone may have told you that you are a bright child, or that you were an amazing person.  The first thing that you usually do is try to humble yourself.  The reason being is because you don’t want to feel as if you do much in the first place.  In many instances, you drop your level of confidence to ensure that person that it isn’t much that you do, and that you appreciate the compliment.  However, you don’t really pay attention to the amount of times that others may compliment you in the things that you still believe you don’t do.  Truth be told, I know that when someone says that you have a beautiful spirit just based off of your smile, then they are able to look deep into your soul and see the blessings that you contained.  Now, it’s all about trying to reach down within and expose those blessings to others. 


3) Albert Einstein once said, “To be great is to be misunderstood.”

     Although many people do not have the privilege to become Martin Luther King’s or Albert Einstein, many people will have the ability to touch a handful of people’s lives.  “To be great is to be misunderstood” is one of the powerful quotes I’ve heard, simply because of the truth behind what he was saying.  Great people aren’t great solely off what they do, but off of what they bring to the table for others to accomplish.  Many of us have doubted ourselves because we aren’t meant to be understood by ordinary people.  However, we are meant to bring understanding to those who have ordinary thoughts.  Greatness isn’t a position, it’s a responsibility that one must be willing to express to many, and for those who are doubted, the expression only grows from there.

I do have many more thoughts on how to kill the pain of confusion and self-worth, but unfortunately, I’m heading to bed.  Part two of pain killers will be on the way shortly.  Much love to you all, God bless, and kill pain with what you are blessed with.

Read Between The Color

I’m just IMagiNinG

i’M jUSt ViZualIzINg

I’m just trying to picture what’s on the other side of this world that we live in.  We have been in a certain predicament in which we belittled every race, every ethnic background, genders,  orientation, and overall humanity. Don’t you realize that there’s something bigger than just one person?  Are you not as open to peace and prosperity as a few are?
 
I am writing this to MAXIMIZE people’s thoughts and optimism, while experiencing change in a GREATER sense.   I have fell in the trap of negative pressures that have downsized my focus. I have dropped my sense of desire to help, and gained a selfish idea of what I want.   Where is the positive motivation within the COMMUNITIES that struggle?  Why is that when someone is trying to progress, we want to hold them back from escaping from madness that we’ve created?

I’ve grown tired of this MADNeSs and it’s about TIME that it ceases.

WE MUST MAKE CHANGE.
support growth of education.
Be advocates for knowledge and spread the peace.
Don’t hide from the problems that exists and face it head on.
If we don’t promote a better society, just like the words in the sentence,we will shrink until we…

disappear.

DAMN, SHE’S MINE: DON’T DISRESPECT ME-(FOR THE FELLAS TO UNDERSTAND)

   Now, as a dude, I know what it’s like to see a girl that is with her guy and wonder what it would be to actually talk to her.  Shit, that dude looks like he ain’t doing his job. Maybe I should creep in the picture and talk to her. It’s only a thought, but then I realize it isn’t my place to even do that.  She might have been giving me the eye, and her facial expression may be seductive, but it isn’t right for me to even engage in pursuing her.  It’s only happened a few times with me, and I thought that a beautiful girl like that shouldn’t be going through the bullshit that she did go through.  However, their relationship can only be fixed if they want it to be fixed.
     This right here is for the fellas who think that it’s okay to actually hook another dude’s girl.  Honestly, I ain’t that type of guy to invade another person’s privacy, even when it is brought up by him or her to me.  I try to give as much advice as I can honestly give to help the situation without destroying it.  Overall, what I tell people is that you have to communicate in your relationship in order for you to get what is needed out of your relationship.  I think that we have to do a better job in minding our business when it comes to other people’s relationship.  Here are a few reasons why I feel that it isn’t worth talking to a lady that is in relationship:

1) You are eventually putting yourself in a position that could possibly harm you and her.  
Dudes don’t understand that if they are caught, it is a wrap.  Guys such as myself who are willing to love my girl unconditionally do not want to find out that my girl has been cheating on me.  I think of the work that is required to even build a relationship, and for someone to come in and damage what was being constructed is very disrespectful.  Who knows what another guy would do to him or her depending on his psyche.  That’s just a dangerous situation.

2) Too many different diseases out there to be playing around with other people’s lives.
I don’t want to come home with a burning sensation (knowing that I’m being faithful) and have to go to the doc.  Doc tells me that I have Syphilis,and I know I didn’t do anything to even get the STI.  Now, I know that my girl wasn’t faithful, and that a nigga who isn’t focused on anything but the physical aspects of my girl has no regards for a life that we’ve created.


3) There’s too many single, beautiful ladies out there in this world who are available.
 Get your own girl.  Point. Blank. Period. Don’t overstep the boundaries that you had no part in creating.  Niggas always want their cake and eat another person’s cake also.  Chill with that bruh!!!

I’m just telling the truth.  Let’s be real, it’s about time that we start creating our own relationships and foundations with our own woman, and not with anyone else’s. 

Love Runs Deep

     It was two something in the morning, and I was waiting on my girl to get home safely from an event she attended with some of her Sorors.  A thought ran through my head on how to be a better man for her, and just how can I continue to love her throughout every situation that we will face in life (I’m always thinking of better ways to love) and the positive energy that is required with problems occur.  I am gaining a better understanding of how I see love, and thanks to my other SS Wren, (aka DASH, and Mama Jamaica) she allowed me to use my deep thinking process to bring others into a brighter atmosphere.  And so, I came to the realization that I need to promote more love as a man, because we all deserve love in our heart, and love is the blessing that we need in order to fully experience the joy that life really consists of.

     See, what many people don’t realize is that if you want something, or have love for something, you have a genuine feeling for thing object that you love.  For example, people who love their materials have an affection that is dedicated strictly to their materials; shoe addicts love their shoes, car addicts continue to buy cars as a gift to themselves, and athletes are in love with their sports.  Ultimately, the whole point of the matter is that when you deeply and sincerely love something, you go out of your way to show your love. 
    
     Now, picture the idea of sincerely loving others, although we have differences that may dictate how we feel about other people.  I don’t quote the Bible much, but God obviously wants us to love each other and grow in faith.  We do have challenges, I mean, what human on this Earth doesn’t.  We all have an ability to love inanimate object, and yet, we aren’t willing to build better faith, and ultimately, help each other along the roads of life, we will be more in tune with one another.  Love runs deeper than one loving another or love for family and friends.  It also means to love and respect the differences that make each and every one of us different.  Learn to love yourself, have faith, and understand that the components that makes us who we are.  We ultimately are all one in the same, because we are humans that all struggle, regardless of the types of problems that we have within our lives.  So pay attention to the truths the we are blinded from, and let’s understand one another so that way we can be stronger together, and not weaker while separated.